Just how far do you let your kids go…
|12.Jan.2008…online.
I have worked online since late 2000; as a result, the internet has been integrated into a large portion of my life, and therefore, my children’s lives.
I am the first to say that there is plenty online to be concerned about when it comes to the safety of our children. I get emails from parents who disagree strongly with me for “exposing” the names and the faces of my children online. Obviously there is much I do not post here, but yes, our lives are open (somewhat) for public consumption. Many email me to let me know they are not in agreement with this choice of mine…of ours, and I wonder, how careful are they with their own children and the internet?
It is my desire for children to learn how to safely navigate the web and so, instead of keeping my kids off-line, both Jeff and I are instructing them on how, when and what they are allowed to do when they log in.
Emelie has always had an interest in my work. She is more artistic than I am, however, and wants to learn how to translate her illustrations into digital media for her own blog. I’m not an artist or illustrator, so I’m looking for some skilled, hands-on training for her, but I am going to help her build a blog.
I don’t want her on MySpace with the skanky ads. I don’t want her on free blogging platforms, because I want her to learn some back-end coding skills. Although I will maintain a good deal of control and keep her in the shallow end, I cannot teach her fully without letting her take off her floaties.
Where do they go…what do they do?
There are specific sites, when they ask, the kids are allowed to visit now. They set the kitchen timer for 20 minutes and take turns. Kenny, for the most part, is interested in computer games we load on the computer, but both Emelie and Meredith want to be online. We’ve been reviewing sites as the girls are told about them at school and by their friends.
Some of the sites we’ve deemed safe for the girls are:
One that we used briefly for homeschooling about 4 years ago was BRAIN POP. Brain Pop is worth the subscription; and they have a free trial for kids and parents to check it out.
What sites have you reviewed and found either educational or just fun for your kids? We prefer sites that don’t have the ability to chat freely with strangers (although here’s a warning: girlsense does allow for chatting).
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19 Comments
kate
This site is definitely for the younger set, but my girls (5 & 7) love starfall.com. They even use it at school!
Kelly G.
we use starfall too. Also pollypocket.com, uptoten.com; and pbskids.org
my kids are 5 and 6 though
Angela
My almost 4 year old LOVEs, LOVES, playhouse disney and is now to the point that he can play by himself on one computer while I’m sitting at the computer next to him. We also do sesame street online. In the evening he spends about 15 minutes playing totally stupid nonsense games with his dad for some bonding time. Since we started letting him do this we’ve seen a huge jump in his coordination and listening skills…you know since he has to listen to instructions since he can’t read. But again he’s four not your girl’s age/
SmockLady
Most of the ones you mentioned are pretty much where ours go too. My oldest son also loves to go to legos/bionicle site. My oldest daughter also has a blog (it’s new for her, she’s 12.5) and she wants to do more on it, but no other children she knows are visiting it. She just doesn’t have friends that blog and I am in no hurry for strangers to find her blog. when Emelie gets hers up let me know. Moggie would love to stop by and “meet and greet”.
karen
Do you feed and water their Webkinz? Or play the games to get them a little more KinzCash than they can earn on their own? I’m conducting an informal poll of mothers of children with Webkinz…which may, if the poll results continue coming in as they have been, result in a 12-step program for recovering mothers!
Sarah
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/fun/
Mrs. Wilson
We let my daughter online too. She is six. She goes on PBS Kids, NickJr (Dora), and Barbie. There is no chat (that I know of – she doesn’t type), she just plays games. I am not worried at all about her at this point since her typing and reading skills aren’t great.
My kids’ faces and names are on the web as well. I’m as careful as I can be, but I’m not going to let my children live in a plastic bubble their whole lives!!
mamalang
My MIL works for a police organization here…I’ve seen, through her, some bad things that have happened to kids through the internet, so we are probably more cautious than some. But that is just my personl opinion, and it isn’t my place to preach to anyone else. We all have to do what is best for our family. My 14 year old has a myspace page, but she is hardly on it anymore. She’d rather spend her time playing with the Wii or reading. She does enjoy playing with moviemaker and such, and I’m thinking about helping her get more involved with things like that. The other two play on webkinz, playhouse disney. I did get this free sample of software that allows your kids to go on the internet to only sites you deem ssafe, but haven’t tried it out yet. Maybe I need to hunt it down and load it.
Karen Sugarpants
My 3 year old loves NickJr.com but since we got the Wii, he loves a game called Cosmic Family – full of learny type stuff.
Loralee
This could not have been more timely.
I have been a FREAK about keeping the boys away from the computer. I get so worried about anything harming them.
BUT. My kids love what I do. They are always tickled when I write about them and are getting more and more curious.
I know they need to learn in a safe way. They are 11 and 8 and I can’t keep them off the computer forever.
SO…We gave them a computer with a million filters and rules about websites (NO CHATTING. And? I’d put a fork in my eye and die before allowing MySpace).
I have been freaking out about it.
I don’t have any sites to add, just to say THANK you for writing this. It gives me encouragement that I’m doing the right thing (Even though my inner instinct is screaming to just lock them in their rooms in a bubble and keep them from EVERYTHING until they are 40!!!)
Andrea
We made a jump page for our youngest – it was a simple HTML page right on the desktop. So when she clicked on it, it fired right up in Firefox, and listed the pre-approved sites.
Yes, she has a blog too. I set one up for her and show her how to use it, AND I’m an admin on it as well.
I also have teens in the house – same hting, no Myspace, chats are disallowed after giving the older one *too* much freedom. Make sure you the parent have the passwords and the kids knpow you can and will check on them at any time. I even knopw a mom who set up her teen’s email so it forwards a copy to hte mom’s account as well.
I think putting down these rules, and making them transparent, is better than using software to monitor or disallowing places only to have them sneak anyway. Let them know you can and will catch them and follwo up on the punishment. there’s none worse than the computer going off. :D
We’ve let our kids use computers for a *long* time, because hubby is a programmer and I’m in web dev too, now. Our oldest is 20, and he’s in college studying to be a programmer. :)
Sheila
We let our daughter (who is 4) play games online as well. I’m always surprised when people can’t believe I let her go online. Its not like I let her roam unsupervised. Computers and the internet are going to be a huge part of her life, I want her to know how to use them.
Pam
My son likes Millsbury right now, and he has a few other sites my husband goes to with him. He knows he is not allowed to navigate away from the sites, and has learned to recognize ads that do so. I also have a jump page that has sites he is allowed to go to. I made a simple HTML page that I didn’t link into my main website, but he has a direct link on a favorite list. He is watched carefully when online, and I keep track of his history when someone steps away from him etc. But he has not given me reason to doubt him as to what he is doing. I know eventually he may test that, but for now, he is content.
As for faces etc of my child online, I have been criticized as well. (My blog is fairly anonymous but we have a separate web presence that isn’t.) It’s always interesting to me, the same folks that are critical of me having my family online end up having the kids with secret Myspace pages though. I think it’s part of this day and age, computers are just another way of communicating. IN the old days, we all had our mug shots in the newspaper when we did something. No one worried about us ;)
Christy
Great post! I think parenting is about teaching your kids to make intelligent decisions, keeping the lines of communication open and supporting them as they learn. Being involved and educating kids (and yourself) is the best way to keep them safe online. My favorite sites (ahem, for kids) are PBSKids and Webkinz. I’ve got my eye on the new Build-a-Bear site, too.
AmyL
We allow sites like hotwheels.com, lego.com, ben10.com, and the like. Boys. :) No girlie sites here, lol. I bought them the Miuchiz games for Christmas, which may be a bit like webkins, but I’m not completely sure. It’s a little handheld game with an electronic pet, and then they can go online to play. We don’t allow them to chat with anyone, and the game has lost enough popularity that it’s pretty much vacant anyways. They enjoy it though. We’re looking for parental control software, just to block out uninvited stuff. The 9yos have been pretty well behaved so far, but they’re starting to venture out. I’ve caught them shopping for games on eBay. The hardest thing is convincing them that they may not let other friends online without explaining directly WHY I don’t want other friends online.
jenn
my son goes to starfall as well, and they use it as school. he also loves club penguin, which he just found around two weeks ago. he is almost 10, we have his own name and email set up, and i control his address book, that way i can block anyone besides the users i have added. i agree with you 100%, this day and age is about technology, so how are they going to learn it if we keep them from it? we teach him where he can go and just what about himself he needs to be telling. he is pretty smart for his age anyway. I also use a timer because I dont want him on the dang thing all of the time (COUGH COUGH like this mother)most of the time all my son does is play games. he does chat a few times with two of his best friends in which their parents also monitor, and his grandparents. i use my kids names and faces on my blog as well. I can protect them i feel like. i know that people say well a stranger could have info about them and lure them.. the fact is, my kids are with me, i know what my kids are doing, and i have taught my kids the skills to survive in this world. I am not going to put them ina bubble and expect them to grow up thinking this world is peaches and cream and giving them no life skills. too many kids are like that now a days, they are too gulible because their parents havent taught them life skills, that things happen.. so in other words, they are not prepared.another thing that aol does, is when you have a “kids screen name” they will send you an email stating what websites your child visits.. this is handy! we block a lot of things, but kids hear of new things everyday, so as soon as he goes on it, I get an email, so I can check it out myself and see if its ok or not.
OhBlahDah
A few years ago, my daughter was entranced by NeoPets. You choose/design a pet, then must care for it and take it around the world. Sort of a fantasy adventure. It did allow some chatting.
I loved how when you were out of points and couldn’t feed your pet, there was a Soup Kitchen. Usually, you picked up or earned something along the way you could trade in order to get food.
Kid is a teen now — so totally immersed in sharing photos and communicating on MySpace and FaceBook. Scary, right? I read her page and her friend’s pages. She and her friends seem fairly innocent even as high school juniors and seniors.
I found one friend’s page that was a bit scary, info on ditching class and all (as a senior).
Leanne
Yep, we had the same discussion here. At first I was one of the NO INTERNET Mom’s but then I had to agree with hubby and think that the best way we can keep our kids safe on the net is to show them how to use it.
My trio are allowed on the sites you listed and http://WWW.BarbieGirls.com. My youngest got the MP3 player for that sire for Christmas.
My ten year old son was just asking me tonight about being allowed on YouTube to watch the hockey fights. I’m still thinking about that one!
Thanks for a great post.
Colleen
Zoe is only 2 1/2 right now… but she still likes to get a turn on the computer. We tend to take her to Noggin, NickJr., Playhouse Disney, Peep, and Sesame Street.
I found this nice link list… and now they have a link to a list for older children.
http://www.thissimplelife.net/KidLinks/