Walk and chew gum.
|8.Feb.2008This morning was just one of those mornings. Not a bad morning per se, just one of those mornings where you truly think bad fairies bent on brain thievery came and performed a frontal lobotomy while you slept.
For one, the anesthesia the little darlings delivered for the procedure was a prime potion…I could NOT get up (ask Mr. OMSH – he even tossed a wet, naked boy in bed with me and it still didn’t work).
Next, I poured, doctored, and then left my coffee at home because I obviously can’t find my keys AND remember to go back to the kitchen counter and get my coffee all in the same 5 minute span.
After dropping off Em at school, I flew right by the turn to take Meredith and Kenny to school and had to circle back. This meant that I had to park and walk Kenny inside because open assembly was already over by that time.
Left the school, desperate to shoot up my morning java, but still had to go to the Texas Department of Public Safety office to get Jeff on the waiting list for his motorcycle driving test this afternoon. The idiot that I am, I turned into a DO NOT ENTER drive. May I point out that the TDPS is NOT a good place to not watch signs. What with about 25 cops mulling around drinking their morning coffee and getting into their cars to hit the streets. Yea, enough said.
Left there, took a LEGAL (phew) u-turn under the highway to circle back and go to Wal*Mart to renew Kenny’s allergy meds and missed the exit. I guess I was going to just take I-45 to Houston? No idea. One mile down I could finally exit to turn around.
Arrived at Wal*Mart, forgot the grocery list, picked up a few items for the kids for Valentine’s day while I was waiting for the pharmacy to open, checked-out, and DID NOT GET KENNY’S PRESCRIPTION FILLED.
I’m not even making this up.
However, I want you to know that in the midst of all this – recognizing the complete futility of getting upset about it all, I called JOTT to leave a message for myself (Jott takes voice messages, transcribes them, and emails them to you for when you arrive home.).
I called right after I missed the stinkin’ exit to the blasted not-so-super-center.
My WORDS were “Today’s post is…some people can’t walk and chew gum. I can’t drive and know where I’m going at the same time.”
Look at the message I got when I arrived home.
I also got a kick out of their “Transcription Confidence”. High? Bwahahahaha!
I guess they still need to teach their computers the dialect of a Southern woman.
P.S. Multi-tasking is a no-go; I’m learning this in my personal life. Don’t believe me? Check out this article.
Don’t forget the Valentine Giveaway!
Seriously, this is an easy Valentine Giveaway for you to participate in and all I’m asking is for you to share the love. No, don’t send out a forward to all your friends, neighbors, clients, and anyone else who has ever emailed you for all of internet eternity; especially don’t do it if there is a poem, flashing hearts, .wav file, haikus, or WORSE, Precious Moments, attached. But if you ARE gonna do that – I really want off your forwards list. Come to think of it, I’d prefer not to be on any forwards lists; I kinda don’t like forwards list. I mean, well…sorry.
18 Comments
temmy
You mean to tell me that this isn’t normal? Oh honey, wait until your kids are teenagers. My hubby used to have little sympathy for me when I had those days. The karma fairy visited him recently and now he’s getting a taste of what goes on in my world now.
mamalang
I hate forwards lists. I refuse to forward.
Okay, seriously…I’ve turned to go to work with the boy still sitting in the backseat. I drove to work with PB when she was little…she was that quiet. Luckily, she spoke when we pulled into the parking lot.
And I’m having one of those days today…doesn’t really bode well for the weekend, huh?
andi
Ugh, the bloody forwards kill me! I’m a nice person, but I’m seriously considering replying to the next forwarded e-mail with something nasty.
Kristen
I’m constantly finding myself driving on the freeway when magically I have no stinkin’ clue where I was headed. Was it the store? Did I have a doctor appointment? Am I headed to class? What day is it? So much fun.
And the southern lady dialect: my grandmother was born somewhere in Denton County. My father’s accent had mellowed quite a bit in the many years that he had not been in Texas, but listening to him all the time did not help my sister or I understand our grandmother (we were born and raised in California). She would call, we would listen for a minute, hand my father the phone so that he could talk to her and tell us what she was saying. Poor woman, not even able to speak to her own grandchildren.
SOUTHERNBELLE
I’m so glad that I am not the only one to do things like that. I have one that even might top Mamalang above. Just last week I left my 8 year old at church! I got home and my cell phone rang and a friend of mine said “I believe I have something that belongs to you.” How embarrassing! It sucks to get old.
Mrs. Wilson
I never have those kind of mornings. I always get enough sleep and I’m always up early, showered, dressed, with breakfast on the table by the time the kids are up. I always get Kaylie to school on time and never miss a turn because I always know where I’m going.
Bah! If only …
Linda
It’s good to know I’m not the only one that woke up our of sorts this morning. I’ve worked the 10-8 shift this week so why my clock was going off at 7am this morning was beyond me, especially since I hadn’t even heard Lil Man announce he was awake. I went ahead and got up trying to figure out why I had set my clock this early. I fumbled around, got ready for work and decided I’d go on in a little early and help out the early morning shift. I casually took my time getting dressed and headed out. Since the windows needed to thaw off I scraped just enough to see how to drive around to the mail box and check the mail while I waited for the rest of the windows to clear. I looked at the clock at it was about 10 minutes to 8 so I gingerly continued to take my time. I even went through the drive thru for breakfast … that my dear is when it hit me … I remembered why I set my clock for 7am instead of 8:30am. I had switched the 10-8 shift with a co-worker who was on the 8-6 shift. Here I am, in line at the drive thru, and it’s about 7 minutes to 8 and it take about 8 minutes for me to drive to the office. Needless to say I was late BUT I wasn’t hungry and I was dressed appropriately.
Andrea
okay, the concept behind the JOTT site is blowing my mind. I *need* it… Seriously.
ktjrdn
Yeah, what Andrea said… what a great idea
Loralee
I.hate.forwards.
And?
There seems to be something about WalMart (And Target) that suck you in and cause you to buy 100 things not on your list and then come home without the one thing you went there for in the first place.
Obviously, I do this often.
:S
Angella
I HATE FORWARDS.
Even more so when it has been forwarded ten times and the person did not clean up all of the addresses before forwarding.
ARG.
I loved the JOTT message, though.
Meg
Hey y’all, go get some JOTT action! Not only can you leave yourself reminder messages that end up in your email box (and it’s ok if it isn’t an exact transcription because you will remember what you said), you can Jott a message to anyone’s email – like, oh, say, your HUSBAND! Look out, honey.
Now forward this to 10 friends, including the one who sent it to you, and you’ll be amazed at what happens! I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but just trust me, it’s worth it! Don’t break the chain or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life! I know someone who broke the chain and within days, her house burned to the ground, her husband divorced her, and her mother died, so don’t be like her!!!!
Shannon
Now your earlier email to me makes perfect sense. See I just didn’t have all the missing parts, those darn little fairies.
Lanna
*snort* I’m having a year like that apparently. You just say it way better than I ever could (my lobotomy has also taken off with whatever wit I may have had pre-kids).
mamalang
And JOTT…I may have to kiss you through the computer. How many times have I mumbled to myself about needing a voice recording system. AWESOME! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
LizzieFish
o.m.g.
i’m going to make out with jott now and feel much better that i’m not the only one who can’t remember to do more than one thing at a time.
Kuky
I do not like forwards either. I especially despise it when people send dire warnings that are fake. Do they even bother looking it up before they forward that crap to everyone in their address book? Guess not because otherwise it wouldn’t have gotten to me huh?
Mrs. Flinger
Forwards are so 1999. ;-) And that JOTT idea, oohhhhhh. I might have to try it. Maybe I’d have a much better post (say, like if it takes my words and changes them all in to something even funnier than what I meant?) I actually need a personal organizer in my brain.