Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery…

…today is a gift.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

As I dotted the last of the i’s and crossed the last of the t’s for 2008, I realized a full decade has passed since I first saw the internet as far more than a platform to exchange emails.

At first, I used the internet as an additional research tool for my writing – the search engines were hardly a glimpse of what they are now, but it was definitely a start. Soon thereafter, the internet became a means to communicate with like-minded mothers across parenting forums, to engage in healthy debate over topics meaningful in my life, a form of creative expression, and to develop relationships I would not otherwise have known.

Within two years I had a plan – I would use the internet as a tool to meet an objective; make enough money to supplement my family’s income and at the same time, be a stay at home mom. I wasn’t the only mom grasping at this possibility – I knew that. I also knew I needed to find a niche; a place where I could be the ‘expert’ and develop a ‘Go To Girl’ reputation – and I did.

And it worked.

I was a researcher and writer, a moderator and assistant forums administrator, an online store owner and shipper, a casual tinkerer of web design, a search engine specialist, an organizer and administrator, a webmaster, an online graphic designer, a resource site owner, a web host and shopping cart provider, a blogger, and a web designer.

The progression from one title to the next was not always a comfortable one, but other times it was as natural as taking the next step. I’ve learned what I want to do, what I will (and will not) do as a means to an end, and what I absolutely never want to do again.

I am ecstatic to earn my ‘living’ this way.

I know many people who did not make it – that made the whole experience even more humbling; everyday I am THANKFUL that I made it this far. I don’t want to mess that up, become prideful, or not rise to the blessing I’ve been allotted. I want to be responsible with what feels like a gift to me and my family.

Therein lies the need for change.

My online work must remain dynamic if I am to be any good; there are many areas where I want and need to stretch, much knowledge to gain, additional skills to master, but just as my goals have progressed and changed, so has my desire for how to traverse this online world.

When I sit back and look at 2008, the number one ‘theme’ that crops up can be defined in a single phrase – ‘not enough time’.

And that?
Is a falsehood.
There is plenty of time – there is more than enough time – the time is simply eaten up with irrelevant, daily rabbit trails.

When the children can’t get their chores done, we assess why.
Are they spending too much time on their DS or the computer? Are they huddled up with a book somewhere and avoiding the hard tasks? Are they forgetting because their priorities are misaligned? Are their schedules too busy?

We figure it out, get them set straight, and move forward.

And that is exactly what I did this month.

I assessed my own daily patterns, talked with Jeff, saw what tilted my life’s balance, and made the decision to set myself straight – move forward – make the necessary change.

I love what I do. I not only design websites, but I help my clients every step of the way. I’m good at this. It is important. It is my livelihood.

For me, personal blogging – and the endless list of applications that coincide with it, is not part of my livelihood – and in fact, rather counter-productive; I simply don’t see it as a means to reach the calmer, less cluttered life I want. A life where there is more than ‘leftover’ time to serve my Lord, my family, my church, my friends, and my current and future clients more effectively.

The blog will come down January 1st, to be redesigned as my work site – a contact point and a place to finally put a work portfolio. Maybe I’ll find that utopian balance and return to personal blogging at a later point, but for now, this is what is needed.

Blessings to you all – may 2009 bring you the joy of the Lord, His peace, amazing moments with family and friends, and the satisfaction of work well done – whatever that work may be.